Reverse snob-ism

This didn’t fit with my last post, so I had to back-to-back post. I hope this is allowed.

I have a problem. I have a huge fear of being not liked. I wanted to be liked so much as a kid, I think I actually turned some people off. Now I don’t have that problem so much. I don’t think. I’m more choosey about who I want to be friends with. I don’t have to be part of the “clique” so I don’t try so hard. This is good since I’m now a 30 year old adult. I do think others might still have the problem of wanting to be part of the “right” crowd, so I consider it to be an accomplishment.

I have another problem. People who I perceive to be fake really annoy me. Does this make me a snob? Maybe I am. I’m a snob to the snobs. Looking down on those who look down on me. Is that possible?

Keeping up with the Joneses. Spending so much time thinking about what’s “right” rather than thinking about what is truly important. But aren’t we all guilty of that? Rushed, busy, preoccupied multi-taskers. Watching little Billy’s soccer game while responding to work email on a Blackberry. Spending more than the 40 hours a week you get paid to be at work at work. Why do we spend more time getting ready for/getting to/at work/getting home than we actually do with those that we love?

Take time, relax, have fun, spend less time at work (unless you actually get paid more!), more time with people who matter. The world won’t come crashing to an end! In fact, it might actually make it better. A friend of mine noted last week that the longest she expects to be remembered by anyone is 2 generations. This is two generations of people related to you genetically. A lifetime is all we have to be remembered by others who we meet along the way. Unless we do something magical like cure cancer, once we’re gone, the only people who will care are the ones who love us.

Now all I have to do is take my own advice.

Am I un-interesting…or is it just me?

So, in an effort to extend my blog-awareness beyond my small circle of friends, I am employing the use of Blog Explosion. I’ve checked out a couple of others, but this one was the first that I could figure out how to use. I get the game…check out other people’s blogs to earn credits and get links to my blog. It seems to be working because my “hit count” on my site has gone up. I actually am taking the time to review the blogs I’m hitting. Some I do pass by quickly, but I’ve blogmarked a few for later perusal. I haven’t been blogmarked yet. This is disappointing to me, but perhaps I’m being a bit impatient. I’ve only been at this “blogging” thing for a few days. Give it time. My greatest fear is that I’ll be un-interesting to anyone except the people that already know (and pity) me.

Keeping Score

Do you know anyone who is a “score keeper”? This person keeps a mental tally of all of the things they have done and all of the things you have done. These “things” can be good or bad; you hurt their feelings saying this, or you unloaded the dishwasher x number of times in the week. This person then uses the scoresheet to determine their attitude and actions towards you. They decide that they can treat you in a certain way based on your score versus their score.

Once you realize this person is a “scorekeeper” it causes you to swing between the attitude of “I must do this so that the scorekeeper will be happy and will be nice to me and do the things I want to do”, or you have the attitude of “GRRRR. They’re keeping score again and it makes me really mad. I’m not going to do anything they want me to do just because he’s keeping score”.

Neither are healthy ways of living, I’m sure. Would the tables have been turned, and had score been kept on the scorekeeper, score on the “bad list” would have been so high that score would have burst through the roof and they could not have done enough good things of high enough mangitude to ever achieve good/bad balance. Now the scorekeeper has changed things in their life and that “bad list” doesn’t get a tally much anymore. Except when they “keep score”.

Still, how does one deal with a scorekeeper? Confront, ignore, keep your own score? All sound exhausting and have their own issues. I shall confront. We’ll see where this gets us. Probably not far, but it’s at least out there.