Interstellar Adventures

January 27, 2006

She’s too young for a crush

Filed under: Uncategorized — by InterstellarLass @ 9:45 am

Elle threatened to run away again last night. She set herself off when she asked if they could stay for the PTA meeting and some program thing that was going on. I didn’t know about the PTA meeting and program, and I was starving and had a headache from work, so I said no. She then proceeds to jump up and down and have a fit. Back in the car, it was whine, whine, whine. My headache wasn’t getting any better.

At home, she and I sat down at the kitchen table. She had her head buried in her arms, and cried. What’s wrong baby. Tell mommy so I can help you make it better. She just kept crying. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. she said. After awhile of not getting through to her I decided it was time to go eat. Then it came out.

There’s a boy at school that won’t leave me alone. He teases me about having a boyfriend, and I don’t. Ahhh. He won’t shut up and he makes me mad and I can’t get him to stop and so I yell at him and then I get in trouble. Ahhh.

Do you have a boyfriend? I ask, praying that the answer is no. No! she yells. OK then, how come you just can’t ignore him? He says stuff really loud and won’t stop even when I tell him to stop and he’s always teasing me. she wailed.

Great. Now I have to call the school and find out if she’s really being teased by this twerp. I’m sure this little butt-head has a crush on my totally cute daughter. But hands off little buck-a-roo! She’s too good for you. Why don’t you go practice your alphabet or something there Alfie? Leave my baby girl alone!

The other thing that bothers me is she’s in first grade!!! She’s not supposed to know what a boyfriend is! She’s not supposed to know that people like people and it makes you feel all funny inside when you do! She’s supposed to be young and innocent, worrying about dolls and bike riding and reading homework and painting her nails! What is it with kids these days where they think they have to grow up so fast! Worrying about popularity in first grade?

You know what? I blame crap like this. These aren’t even cute. These are pre-teens dressed like street walkers! And now they have toddler versions of their trampy selves! I mean, how is a kid supposed to be a kid without thinking they already have to have collagen-ized lips and plucked eyebrows and wear make up and be sexy and show off parts of their body not meant for public consumption!

I don’t want my daughter to end up as a Paris Hilton wannabe. I don’t want her to worry about fashion and shopping and boys. I want her to get excited about learning and soccer and being the best girl she can be. How are those distorted dolls supposed to be considered role models for little girls??? Even Barbie is sketchy to me. Sure there’s Doctor Barbie and Lawyer Barbie and they’ve got videos that teach about being good friends and what not. But why do they all have to be beautiful? Sparkling hair and eyes and perfect teeth and an unachievable figure. That ain’t me everyday, I can assure you of that. A month ago I saw a girl that couldn’t have been more than 10 or 12 dressed in a mini-skirt, a halter top, and high-heels. She was showing off more skin than I have ever dared to expose in something other than a swim suit! WTF??

And what if girls do look up to a female soccer star or female basketball player? People look at them and then say ‘Eh, she’s probably a lesbo or something.’. So because a girl is good at sports, she’s gay? Yeah, there’s “hot” sports people like Anna Kournikova, but IMO, she was a mediocre tennis player that only got all the attention she did because of her body. She hasn’t played tennis in three years, and hasn’t won a title since 1996.

Let my baby girl be a girl. Let her enjoy her kid-ness while she still can. I don’t want my kids to think I’m ‘uncool’, but dammit, it’s not my job to be cool. There’s going to come a point when they can experiment and try new things and decide how they want to live their life, but that time isn’t now. Gawd, when did I turn into my mother??? I’m going to stop ranting now and go look for a real role model for my daughter. Oh wait, that’s me isn’t it?


  1. Aww, your poor girl. I hope that stupid boy leaves her alone. I hated when boys teased me. I agree with you, too many little girls are dressing like tramps and their mothers are letting them. It’s so unfortunate. And just think, what are they going to get away with when they are sixteen?

    Comment by Tiffany — January 27, 2006 @ 1:56 pm |Reply

  2. i agree, that’s way to young to have to deal with this, but it happens more and more and sooner and sooner. i thought i was a role model for my kids too, but at a certain age, they stop looking at you as a role model, that’s when the real trouble begins. i’d be calling that school, that boys parents need to be aware of what is happening here.

    Comment by Better Safe Than Sorry — January 27, 2006 @ 3:11 pm |Reply

  3. My youngest is in 2nd grade and we went through this too. I explained to her that boys tend to show their emotions in the opposite way. When they like you they tease you relentlessly and pretend NOT to like you. The next time it happened she told the boy that she new he secretly liked her and that is why he gave her so much attention. She said it in front of his friends. That put a stop to it. LOL

    I hate those Bratz dolls. I also hate those Nic and Disney shows that have elementary girls acting like high school seniors. I monitor the TV. I do not want my little girl growing up any faster than she has too.

    I foresee trouble for many mothers with their daughters who think there is nothing wrong with mimicing adult behavior as they see on TV.

    Comment by Angie — January 27, 2006 @ 3:36 pm |Reply

  4. Did you hear that porn music at the Bratz site? Bow chica Bow hwoaw. Not for my babies.

    Anywho…I was in first grade the first time I was approached by a punk kid too. Only it was on the bus, and he actually touched me way inappropriately. He was in the 5th grade. My kid is turning 12 next month, and I’ve taught her to sock it to em if they get rowdy with her.Her first boy/girl dance was a few months ago and she only got to go because her dad chaperoned.

    Comment by sallwood — January 27, 2006 @ 4:42 pm |Reply

  5. But it was such a good rant!

    Sheesh! First grade?? You’re absolutely right, that’s way to young to be having to worry about popularity and crap like that. I’d call the school too.

    My oldest is in 6th grade, and it still surprises me at the way the girls his age dress. And the makeup! Sherwin Williams! Hello?

    It’s things like this that make me glad I have all boys. They just worry about making it to the next level in Star Wars Battlefront video games.

    Comment by abbynormal — January 27, 2006 @ 5:14 pm |Reply

  6. I’m pretty open-minded about most things, but this is a very good argument for uniforms in schools.

    I think it comes from the fact that alot of your daughter’s friends proabably have mothers who are very young (early-20s or so) who dress that way themselves.

    Or I could be very wrong.

    Comment by Coyote Mike — January 27, 2006 @ 5:53 pm |Reply

  7. you are tagged lady, although it is for a decent cause. see saturday’s post. thanks.

    Comment by rev. billy bob gisher ©2005 — January 28, 2006 @ 12:15 am |Reply

  8. Very protective, Lass, well written.

    Comment by Jean-Luc Picard — January 28, 2006 @ 9:19 am |Reply

  9. Yes, that is you, and all of the other strong female role models in her life, but especially you. And you can make sure that you are a strong influence in her life by staying connected with her throughout the trying age to come.

    It is too soon to be dealing with the stuff, it used to be that girls dressed differently than women, and when they started dressing like women then men knew it was okay to address them as such. But now, girls dress more and more like women. It blurs the line too much. How to fix it I don’t know. I guess all you can do is watch after Z and L to try to make sure they don’t fall into the pitfalls of society by guiding them the best you can.

    I know when I was walking down the JR High halls of my school, I was horrified with what I heard.

    When did you become a mother? Over ten years ago my dear, and you will be one till the day you die. And it is blessing with a lot of responsibility. And your kids are great so far, so you are doing a pretty good job.

    Comment by Brittany — January 28, 2006 @ 10:17 pm |Reply

  10. So glad this is something I won’t have to worry about. Maybe they require an ID to buy makeup now?

    Comment by FTS — January 29, 2006 @ 4:43 pm |Reply

  11. My friend just gave me an unbelievable book that I think you could really use. Its called

    Fearless Girls, Wise Women, and Beloved Sisters: Heroines in Folktales From Around the World

    It is by Kathleen Ragan.

    The author wanted to have some fairy tales and folk stories that would be inspirational and have some women role models for her daughter. So she put together an anthology of folk stories from around world that are all about women. I would recommend it to anyone with young daughters/siblings. Heck, I’m 22 and I recommend it for all women.

    Comment by Crys — January 29, 2006 @ 11:03 pm |Reply

  12. I think your girlie is pretty lucky to have a mum like you.

    It does seem that our generation were allowed to be kiddies for longer, although I fancied boys early on, I didn’t know how to express it, I certainlly didn’t know how to be sexy at 11, thank god. Everthing in life seems rushed now. Peer pressure at school to be cool and grown up is going to be around.

    Comment by The Wisdom of Wislon — January 30, 2006 @ 3:35 am |Reply

  13. Sadly, the fashion media appears to be trying to inflict sexualised fashions on children at too early an age; and when role models are the likes of Paris Hilton and the Olsen twins; I despair of what example is being set young girls.

    Chin up Stella Lass

    Comment by culfy — January 30, 2006 @ 5:37 am |Reply

  14. It starts so young these days. My daughter told she had a boyfriend. She was in 4th grade at the time. OMG! We ended that. I don’t let them wear those skimpy clothes.

    My 20 yo niece comes home and her pants are falling off and her shirt is too short. And, one of my daughters wants to copy her!

    I have been blessed w. twin girls, they are 10 now. I just can’t wait for teenage years, NOT!

    Comment by Nancy — January 30, 2006 @ 8:48 am |Reply

  15. It’s true that those dolls represent something completely unattainable. One of the Barbie movies Darby has is about Barbie and her high school friends going on a trip to Hawaii. Yeah, I bet high school girls every where are jumping on airplanes to Hawaii.

    But, also, those ten year olds wearing those outfits? Hello! They’re parents are buying them they’re clothes. Shame on parents for letting them leave the house that way.

    Your completely right, our little girls should be playing sports and hanging out with other little girls. Not worrying about boys! It’s too scary.

    Comment by Jolynn — January 30, 2006 @ 9:56 am |Reply

  16. Ohhh boy. That does seem awfully young for something like that, but I can think of 2 examples of “young love”.

    Back when we were growing up, my sister was probably about 8 at the time and the new neighborhood boy had the BIGGEST crush on her and he was 5!! He CALLED her on the phone to talk to her!

    I once saw a first grade girl kiss her fellow classmate on the cheek because she had a crush on him. That little boy turned 4 shades of red!

    Comment by Chickadee — January 30, 2006 @ 5:30 pm |Reply

  17. Darly has 3 Bratz dolls given to her by others. I would have returned them if she hadn’t had been so quick to open up the packaging. Now she knows that if she gets anymore they are going back…but she can trade them for any approved toy she wants, so she’s cool with that. I also make it known that I hate them and won’t have any more in my house. She doesn’t play with the ones she has all that much anymore.

    I don’t know what I would do if that were happening to my DD. Knowing me, I would have it out with the kid and scare him out of town. I figure if the kid is crazy enough to do it, then talking to the parents probably won’t help. So far I’ve only had to deal with boys trying to throw snowballs at Darly. Whew.

    Comment by Renee — January 30, 2006 @ 11:34 pm |Reply

  18. i could wish that my wife is Anna Kournikova, she is really pretty *

    Comment by Layla Collins — August 11, 2010 @ 2:09 am |Reply

  19. Anna Kournikova is so damn sexy but Maria Sharapova is prettier`-~

    Comment by Jaden Flores — September 30, 2010 @ 12:54 am |Reply

  20. i love the hair of Anna Kournikova, i love long flowing blonde hair;`,

    Comment by PCSO Lotto Results  — October 17, 2010 @ 11:28 am |Reply

  21. i like both Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova, both are great players and both have great bodies ::

    Comment by Health and Welness Forum · — November 7, 2010 @ 10:50 am |Reply

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