Interstellar Adventures

April 4, 2006

Good luck with that…

Filed under: Uncategorized — by InterstellarLass @ 9:11 am

My ex is brilliant. I mean, truly brilliant. Elle and Zed spent the weekend with him. I dropped them off straight after Elle’s soccer game. Well, evidently, I forgot to pack Elle’s regular shoes. I packed their bags the night before, they got home late from the circus and her game was at 8 am. I mean, shoes are easy to forget, right?

I see that he had two options. 1) Call me and ask me to drop off her shoes. 2) Go to Target and buy her a pair of tennies for $10 or a pair of flip-flops for $2. What does he do? He has her wear her cleats all weekend. Brilliant.

His latest brilliant move? A 12-week old puppy. And not just any kind of puppy. A puppy that will grow into a 100 pound dog. A French Mastiff. He had it in the truck last night when he dropped off the kids. It was cute and all. But he lives in a one bedroom apartment. “Yeah, it’s going to be a big dog.” he said. “Yep, and it’ll crap big too.” I said. “Yeah, it already clogged the toilet when I tried to flush it’s poop this morning.” he said.

Like I said. Brilliant.


  1. OMG!! LOL! Does he not know that dogs should poo outside??? Who flushes dog poo in the toilet?

    Comment by Indigo — April 4, 2006 @ 9:24 am |Reply

  2. My goodness… I don’t know if I should laugh or shake my head. 🙂

    Comment by Froggie — April 4, 2006 @ 10:01 am |Reply

  3. I’ve got a brilliant ex, too!! I think there’s a class for divorced dads. Mostly, I think it’s that we’re not doing the thinking for them that we used to. And the not-smart stands out a lot more. And it makes you wonder why you didn’t notice it when you married them.

    Comment by Tammy — April 4, 2006 @ 10:42 am |Reply

  4. All ex-husband’s are “brilliant”. they never see the importance of appropriate shoes, or clothes or whatever. They can be infuriating.

    Comment by Jolynn — April 4, 2006 @ 11:39 am |Reply

  5. ha ha ha. That is funny. He is brilliant. Good thing he is the Ex huh!

    Comment by Keb — April 4, 2006 @ 12:49 pm |Reply

  6. A puppy is for life, right???/

    Comment by culfy — April 4, 2006 @ 1:05 pm |Reply

  7. God works in mysterious ways. And be thankful he’s an ex – 100 lb. dogs are tough to hangle.

    Comment by Trista — April 4, 2006 @ 1:11 pm |Reply

  8. Looks like he is needing a little replacement. You moved on…he is stuck, so he’s using this giant dog as a companion. But he’s gonna get buried up to his neck in poo. Then you can put him in a giant sack and set him on fire on someone’s doorstep.

    The shoe thing…I dunno…scratchin’ my head still. But when I was an evil stepmother, my ex’s ex would send her kids in halloween costumes and underwear that cut off their circulation. Maybe it’s just ex’s in Texas.

    Hug Nick tightly and simply say…Thank you.

    Comment by SurrenderDorothy — April 4, 2006 @ 1:40 pm |Reply

  9. Oh man! I guess it’s good to have him in your rear view mirror! And good the kids have you to be the voice of reason!

    French Mastiff?!! I don’t know whose life will be harder. The ex’s or the dog’s.

    Comment by abbynormal — April 4, 2006 @ 1:52 pm |Reply

  10. First let me say thanks for visiting today. Secondly, I’m not surprised by the shoe deal. I doubt my husband would even notice. But the poop? Well, at least he’s not tainting the ground water, I guess. Honestly, that cracked me up!

    Comment by Jade — April 4, 2006 @ 2:56 pm |Reply

  11. i just home Zed and Elle take after you – not your ex!!!


    Comment by Anonymous — April 4, 2006 @ 4:45 pm |Reply

  12. Thanks. I needed a laugh.

    Poor Elle.

    Comment by Bone — April 4, 2006 @ 7:44 pm |Reply

  13. I hope she wore them inside and tore up his floor.

    I love dogs, but I would never get one while living in an apartment.

    Comment by Coyote Mike — April 4, 2006 @ 9:37 pm |Reply

  14. Ohhhhhhhhhh…sarcasm. I got it!!! 🙂 Ugh, I can’t believe that. That is a big a** dog! Well at least you won’t have to deal with it or it’s crap! 🙂

    Comment by Twist of Kate — April 5, 2006 @ 12:16 am |Reply

  15. Are cleats, her good shoes?

    Poor dog

    Comment by The Wisdom of Wislon — April 5, 2006 @ 3:33 am |Reply

  16. Yeah, just wait until the kids beg to bring that puppy home. 😉

    Comment by FTS — April 5, 2006 @ 9:02 am |Reply

  17. Well, there’s one thing ex’s are good for. They’re fodder for out blogs and/or conversation with our girlfriends at the bar!

    Cheers to ex’s!!

    Comment by Carnealian — April 5, 2006 @ 9:17 am |Reply

  18. Tried to flush dog poo? OK, I’m not an animal person, but don’t people pick it up in baggies and discard it in the trash?

    The cleats all weekend?!!? Ummm. Wow.

    Comment by Marie — April 5, 2006 @ 9:51 am |Reply

  19. My “brillant” ex’s heater went out on the car during frigid weather. He had our boys for the weekend. His solution?

    A Lit kerosene heater. I’m not making this up. He had a lit kerosene heater in the car, with the boys and all the windows shut! What an idiot!

    Comment by juryizout — April 6, 2006 @ 8:42 am |Reply

  20. Well, besides being ‘brilliant’, he’s also totally amusing to read about. 🙂 And hey! You never know! Maybe cleats will become the next kid fad thanks to him.
    Thank you so much for visiting my site today.

    Comment by atpanda — April 6, 2006 @ 9:55 pm |Reply

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