Interstellar Adventures

July 13, 2006

Have You Been Drinking Tonight?

Filed under: Blast from the Past — by InterstellarLass @ 9:09 am

Back when I was a younger Lass, during college, I had transferred to a different University after my Freshman year. A friend I worked with was returning to school, and she knew I wanted to leave the school I was attending. She needed a roommate, and the University she was attending was a good school. So, we moved.

The three times I went to the campus, my roommate drove, and all three visits were during the day. So, the first time I drove on the campus, I had no idea where I was going. Plus it was at night. I was looking for the dorm of a friend, and after circling the area many times, I was thoroughly lost. I cut through a parking lot to get back to the street I was just on. Then the flashing lights came on behind me.

Crap. What did I do? I pulled over and the campus police officer pulled in behind me. I provided him with my license and registration, and he informed me I’d gone the wrong way down a one-way street. I explained to him that I wasn’t familiar with the campus, and I didn’t see the one-way sign on the street I had turned down.

Officer: Have you had anything to drink tonight?
Lass: No officer, I haven’t.
Officer: Are you sure you haven’t been drinking tonight?
Lass: No officer, I haven’t. I’m not of age to drink.

He studies my license, returns to his patrol car, and runs my plates. I’m totally confused about why he’s asking me if I’ve been drinking. The officer then returns to my window.

Officer: Well Lass, your plates came back clear. But, I’m going to ask you again, and I want you to be honest with me. Have you had anything to drink tonight?
Lass: No Sir, no I haven’t.
Officer: Well, then what are those cans there in your back seat?

I went still, then turned around to see four Keystone tall-boys on the floorboard of my back seat. Shit.

Lass: Sir, earlier this evening, my roommate, her boyfriend, and I went to Billy Bob’s. I drove and my roommate and her boyfriend sat in the back. He was drinking those beers. I asked him to remove them when he got out, but I didn’t realize he hadn’t.
Officer: Please step out of the car, young lady.

Crap Crappity Crap Crap. I immediately saw the vision of my death before my eyes…after my parents came to bail me out of jail. I would be in such deep shit.

The officer proceeded to give me the battery of field sobriety tests. My knees were shaking, my hands were trembling, and I was sweating bullets. I was so scared. I hadn’t had anything to drink!

Fortunately I passed the tests. The officer put me back in my car and gave me directions to where I was going. Then he told me I needed to pay extra attention to the street signs on the campus, because there were many one-way streets.

My friend’s dorm was just around the corner. I parked and found her door. She and some other friends were inside laughing. I asked what they were laughing about. They said they had just seen some poor kid get pulled over by the campus police and tested for drunk driving.

Um. That was me.

They looked at me and then they laughed harder.

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