Interstellar Adventures

July 13, 2006

Have You Been Drinking Tonight?

Filed under: Blast from the Past — by InterstellarLass @ 9:09 am

Back when I was a younger Lass, during college, I had transferred to a different University after my Freshman year. A friend I worked with was returning to school, and she knew I wanted to leave the school I was attending. She needed a roommate, and the University she was attending was a good school. So, we moved.

The three times I went to the campus, my roommate drove, and all three visits were during the day. So, the first time I drove on the campus, I had no idea where I was going. Plus it was at night. I was looking for the dorm of a friend, and after circling the area many times, I was thoroughly lost. I cut through a parking lot to get back to the street I was just on. Then the flashing lights came on behind me.

Crap. What did I do? I pulled over and the campus police officer pulled in behind me. I provided him with my license and registration, and he informed me I’d gone the wrong way down a one-way street. I explained to him that I wasn’t familiar with the campus, and I didn’t see the one-way sign on the street I had turned down.

Officer: Have you had anything to drink tonight?
Lass: No officer, I haven’t.
Officer: Are you sure you haven’t been drinking tonight?
Lass: No officer, I haven’t. I’m not of age to drink.

He studies my license, returns to his patrol car, and runs my plates. I’m totally confused about why he’s asking me if I’ve been drinking. The officer then returns to my window.

Officer: Well Lass, your plates came back clear. But, I’m going to ask you again, and I want you to be honest with me. Have you had anything to drink tonight?
Lass: No Sir, no I haven’t.
Officer: Well, then what are those cans there in your back seat?

I went still, then turned around to see four Keystone tall-boys on the floorboard of my back seat. Shit.

Lass: Sir, earlier this evening, my roommate, her boyfriend, and I went to Billy Bob’s. I drove and my roommate and her boyfriend sat in the back. He was drinking those beers. I asked him to remove them when he got out, but I didn’t realize he hadn’t.
Officer: Please step out of the car, young lady.

Crap Crappity Crap Crap. I immediately saw the vision of my death before my eyes…after my parents came to bail me out of jail. I would be in such deep shit.

The officer proceeded to give me the battery of field sobriety tests. My knees were shaking, my hands were trembling, and I was sweating bullets. I was so scared. I hadn’t had anything to drink!

Fortunately I passed the tests. The officer put me back in my car and gave me directions to where I was going. Then he told me I needed to pay extra attention to the street signs on the campus, because there were many one-way streets.

My friend’s dorm was just around the corner. I parked and found her door. She and some other friends were inside laughing. I asked what they were laughing about. They said they had just seen some poor kid get pulled over by the campus police and tested for drunk driving.

Um. That was me.

They looked at me and then they laughed harder.


  1. I would have laughed so hard too. but that’s only because I think your great! Poor Lass. I’m glad you made it out with out any jail time. 🙂

    Comment by Jolynn — July 13, 2006 @ 9:58 am |Reply

  2. AHAHAHAHA! I’m glad they let you off, it must have been scary…for you…obviously funny to everyone else!

    Comment by Twist of Kate — July 13, 2006 @ 11:55 am |Reply

  3. bet you needed a drink after that!

    Comment by Better Safe Than Sorry — July 13, 2006 @ 12:15 pm |Reply

  4. I think I would have had to do something diabolical to your friend who left the beer cans!

    Comment by KaraMia — July 13, 2006 @ 12:32 pm |Reply

  5. Oh Jeez! I would have been insane w. rage at them! It is kinda funny though….

    Comment by Nancy — July 13, 2006 @ 1:03 pm |Reply

  6. HA! At least you passed all your tests!

    Let that be a lesson to you, young lady!

    Comment by abbynormal — July 13, 2006 @ 1:39 pm |Reply

  7. That’s a hilarious story, Lass.

    Comment by Jean-Luc Picard — July 13, 2006 @ 1:45 pm |Reply

  8. Oh geez, that is pretty funny, though I’m sure it wasn’t at the time.

    Funny, I think we are fraternal twins…I had a similar situation. I was pulled over because of a tail light being out. My dad made it a point to collect aluminum cans and there was several in the back of the ole Gremlin. Well, of course they were beer cans! I was stopped not far from my house. My mom’s radar must have been out because here she comes stomping down the street with her finger wagging at me saying “What did you do?” So much for being innocent before proven guilty!!

    Comment by Carnealian — July 13, 2006 @ 2:43 pm |Reply

  9. That totally stinks! I’m glad you didn’t get in trouble. Poor thing, it’s a wonder you weren’t crying, too. I would have been…

    Comment by Jen — July 13, 2006 @ 3:31 pm |Reply

  10. That’s just too funny!!

    Comment by Claire — July 13, 2006 @ 4:36 pm |Reply

  11. You are so lucky he didn’t take you in anyway. They can be real dicks about the “open bottle” policy.

    That’s hysterical that your friends saw it all go down!

    Comment by Lisa — July 13, 2006 @ 6:18 pm |Reply

  12. i hope he apologized!

    Comment by Raehan — July 13, 2006 @ 9:48 pm |Reply

  13. Someting similar happened to me and my mate, she was pulled over and had to do breath tests but she’d nearly run into a cops car and speeded away just prior so she wasn’t in a good situation to get out of the tests. One of those moments in life I look back on and think oopps we were lucky.

    She got a slapped wrist for it.
    Another mate went through red lights and she said the cop just slapped her wrist for it- literally; she knows she was lucky too.

    Comment by The Wisdom of Wislon — July 14, 2006 @ 3:15 am |Reply

  14. I was stopped at one of these, and the officer asked if I’d been drinking. I answered, “Not yet.”

    My mom was pulled over once at a traffic stop during the holidays. She rolled her window down and mocked, “Na na na, I haven’t been drinking…”

    The officer looked at her and said, “Na na na, you’re not wearing your seatbelt.”

    She was still let off though.

    Comment by Useless Man — July 14, 2006 @ 10:20 am |Reply

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