Interstellar Adventures

October 6, 2006

Adjectives for $1,000, Alex

Filed under: Rants & Opinions — by InterstellarLass @ 8:28 am

As in, I will give you $1,000 if you can come up with another adjective other than f*cking. During our monthly sabbatical to Starbucks last night, Nick and I sat outside, enjoying books and lattes. Meanwhile, some teenagers sat outside having a competition. Must have been. And the competition was: Who can use the word f*cking the most to modify their other curse words?!? We had:

f*cking a$$hole
f*cking $hit
f*cking bull$hit
f*ucking d*ck
f*cking c*nt

In addition to other streaming obscenities, mixed in for good measure, of course. I wanted to rip my eyes out their tongues out their mouth and beat them with them. If you’re going to be so crass, at least put some creativity into it.

There I was, basking in the brilliance that is Tom Robbins, and my accompaniment was a waterfall of profanity. It’s bad enough that the patio is balanced on a sliver of pavement between the parking lot, the drive thru and the store. But this! It was unbearable, unendurable, intolerable and downright calamitous!

But what do I do? It’s a free country that offers free speech to all it’s citizens, right? There’s no law against profanity, is there? Perhaps I could claim verbal assault against my ears and my soul. File a complaint with law enforcement. Sue to have their mouths washed out with soap. And perhaps a sound spanking for good measure.

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