Interstellar Adventures

October 6, 2006

Adjectives for $1,000, Alex

Filed under: Rants & Opinions — by InterstellarLass @ 8:28 am

As in, I will give you $1,000 if you can come up with another adjective other than f*cking. During our monthly sabbatical to Starbucks last night, Nick and I sat outside, enjoying books and lattes. Meanwhile, some teenagers sat outside having a competition. Must have been. And the competition was: Who can use the word f*cking the most to modify their other curse words?!? We had:

f*cking a$$hole
f*cking $hit
f*cking bull$hit
f*ucking d*ck
f*cking c*nt

In addition to other streaming obscenities, mixed in for good measure, of course. I wanted to rip my eyes out their tongues out their mouth and beat them with them. If you’re going to be so crass, at least put some creativity into it.

There I was, basking in the brilliance that is Tom Robbins, and my accompaniment was a waterfall of profanity. It’s bad enough that the patio is balanced on a sliver of pavement between the parking lot, the drive thru and the store. But this! It was unbearable, unendurable, intolerable and downright calamitous!

But what do I do? It’s a free country that offers free speech to all it’s citizens, right? There’s no law against profanity, is there? Perhaps I could claim verbal assault against my ears and my soul. File a complaint with law enforcement. Sue to have their mouths washed out with soap. And perhaps a sound spanking for good measure.


  1. F*ck can be one of the most expressive, creative words in the English language when used properly. These kids had no idea how to use it. Rather than cleverly tossing one out when least expected, or inserting it in the middle of another word, they sounded like a bunch of little kids who snuck out behind the barn to cuss and smoke cigarettes.

    Their parents must swell with pride. I know kids will always behave like children, but what happened to teaching them civility? Of course, I’m assuming their parents have some themselves. Truth be told their parents are the suburbanite f*cktards (see..what I tell you) that drive around in the ‘nobody needs an SUV that big’ SUV, with their kids names on the back window (phedophile ID system), and show tough love by making their child take the new Lexus, instead of the new Beemer to the mall so they can hang out with their fellow lemmings, like something from a George Romero movie.

    I would like the parents of our community and their children to avoid risky sexual behavior, i.e. anything that can lead to procreation. That still leaves them with a couple of options.

    Is it any wonder I’ve become Pro-Choice?

    Comment by nickphilips — October 6, 2006 @ 9:01 am |Reply

  2. I have to confess, I love the word f*ck for so many reasons. It can be used in any part of speech. I do have to watch because I sometimes get on a roll and end up using it similarly to these teenagers. Which, if I were enjoying a pumpkin spice latte would have wanted to murder each of them in plain view with witnesses. My favorite t-shirt I’ve seen several times in NYC and maybe I will break down and get myself one reads:
    F*ck you you f*cking f*cker. Need I say more?

    Don’t get me wrong…I’m not being a hypocrite here and saying I never use the word f*ck, because I do. It was just that it was the only word these kids seemed to know, and they were using it loudly, in public, in general conversation. If I’m on a rant, sure. But I certainly don’t spout it like water from a fountain and pollute the general atmosphere with my foul diatribe.


    Comment by Carnealian — October 6, 2006 @ 9:42 am |Reply

  3. I guess I am old enough to have earned my stripes but when I am confronted with a overly foul mouthed person (I am guilty of using expletives deleted btw) I have no problem asking them if they eat with that mouth. Of course being 6 ft 3 inches tall and looking like a grizzly bear offers some safety from physical retaliation.

    Want to confuse people? Use the scientific terms in place of the offending adjectives. Investigate for variations on themes you need.

    Fornicate the fornicating fornicators

    Instead of being “pi$$ed off” Be urinated off.

    You get the idea.

    As the old saying goes, “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bovine bagels”

    Bovine bagels. he he he. That’s too funny! Thanks for the tip.


    Comment by squawkboxnoise — October 6, 2006 @ 10:21 am |Reply

  4. Well, I was going to express my extreme negative opinion of the word f*@! and the people that use it in public, but reading the first couple comments, I’ll hold off on that one…

    I think a common misconception or misinterpretation people have of “freedom of speech” is that it gives people blanket permission to say anything they like. What it does is give you the freedom to say what you like without fear of legal prosecution. In other words, you can’t arrested or harrassed by the government for the things you say.

    It doesn’t however excuse you from the boundaries of common sense and propriety that the vast majority of society has adopted. In other words, since f&@! is one of the worst curse words used regularly, it should not be used in public where kids or other folks who would object to it are around. And I’m not talking about a PC case where something is cancelled because one person out of 10,000 might object – if those kids were in a crowd of 100 people, most likely 80-90% would object.

    It’s a simple thing, really, to be civilized. In the immortal words of….well, somebody, I don’t remember who: “Just because you can do a thing does not mean you should do a thing.”

    I like that quote Barry. I don’t neccessarily agree with Nick that it’s creative…certainly ground-breaking and had a lot of shock value when it was first used by some authors…but sometimes it’s the word that just makes the most sense. Maybe I should carry around a roll of toilet paper and offer it to people so they can wipe off their ‘potty mouths’. 😉


    Comment by Barry — October 6, 2006 @ 11:22 am |Reply

  5. I don’t think you have to be pristinely pure and never swear in order to be annoyed by this. I think it’s just another example how people are just plain RUDE. Not giving a flying… well, you know… about how their actions affect other people. I’d like it if you would’ve ripped their tongues out and beat them with them. Maybe they’d get the point.

    Comment by AbbyNormal — October 6, 2006 @ 12:23 pm |Reply

  6. I remember being a teenager and the absolute delight I felt every time a cuss word rolled off my tongue. In my head visions of my mother’s expression if she heard me was a lovely compliment, at least to me. Luckily most of us grow out of it.

    Comment by KaraMia — October 6, 2006 @ 12:35 pm |Reply

  7. LMAO @ Bovine Bagels..that was too funny! But he had a good point…I personally have enjoyed using the F word a time or two but I would like to think it has been used to colour my convo with some humour or get a point across with gusto lol..but I can totally relate to what you are saying about the F this and F that, with total gratuity that loses its umpff and just sounds STUPID….
    Here via Michele’s…..have a great weekend!

    Comment by moon — October 6, 2006 @ 12:49 pm |Reply

  8. I’m around middle school students every day. I listen carefully, believe me. And these students are from good families.
    But once they get away from their parents, they’re a whole other breed. Saying “f*ck is the way they assert their independence, in many ways. As if, “now i’m a big shot 8th grader and I’m using f*ck any way I can”. Unfortunately, they keep it up once they get into HS. maybe they’ll grow out of it once they get in college and realize there are more intelligent ways to speak.

    It doesn’t make their parents swell with pride, believe me (except for those parents who just don’t give a d*amn). 😉

    Hey Lass, love the new design!

    My mom was involved in PTA and church, and a lot of parents knew who I was even if I didn’t know who they were. But I don’t think I adopted frequent cuss-word-itis until I was into college. I wasn’t good at getting away with things, so I adopted a cautious attitude or else it seemed like I always got busted!

    And thanks on the design compliment. It’s a new WP Theme I hadn’t seen before. I think I like it!


    Comment by Laura — October 6, 2006 @ 6:19 pm |Reply

  9. Maybe you could convince them to use the for term from which the acronyn was derived ‘for unlawful carnal knowledge’ – how would that sound?
    “I hate this ‘for unlawful carnal knowledge’ shit” What do you think?

    As to freedom of speech that particular clause has to do with political free speech. It may well be there is a city ordinance against public profanity, in which case you could file a complaint if you so chose. But in the alternative, you could always go to the manager of the Starbuck’s and inform them you will not return to their establishment if they cannot control the profanity being screamed on their premises. Businesses hate to lose money – and maybe your spending dollars hold more sway than the ten teenagers sharing one latte and a pack of smokes on their patio.

    Comment by writerchick — October 6, 2006 @ 8:24 pm |Reply

  10. I have to admit, this is my biggest pet peeve in the world. I absolutley hate it when people do this in public. It makes me so angry that I wish I had mind power to make an asteroid land on thier f@cking head and kill them in that instant…!!

    Did I mention how much I hate people who swear in public?

    Comment by creative-type dad — October 7, 2006 @ 1:53 am |Reply

  11. It really reflects a persons inability to talk properly. Nothing can hit a person harder than an firm swear-free dressing-down.

    Comment by Jean-Luc Picard — October 7, 2006 @ 5:06 am |Reply

  12. Not that it helps you but the kids here are just the same! I use profanity’s, I’m certainly no angel, but in context and not just for the sake of it! You regularly hear my yelling ‘Language!’ at my younger brother who seems to have a need to include f**king into every sentence though! Drives me insane!

    I love your new look – it’s great!!

    Comment by Claire — October 7, 2006 @ 5:29 pm |Reply

  13. Even when I was a teenager, I didn’t use the “f” word where anyone could hear, it shows no class.
    I use it all the time in my blog, though. I figure I can use it freely amongst my peers!

    Comment by annie — October 7, 2006 @ 6:09 pm |Reply

  14. I remember once passing by a couple of kids in my street who were about 10 each and were “f*cking” away. I actually found it pretty amusing; they thought they were so mature but still sounding exactly like the kids in the Flanders and Swan song “Quick, the grown ups are away. Bum, Wee, Poo-Poo, botty” (I paraphrase). I actually laughed out loud at the incongruity. The kids heard and one said “That man was laughing” and the other one said “Yeah, I was pretty funny.”

    Mike Judge was spot on when he created Beavis and Buthead.

    Comment by culfy — October 8, 2006 @ 1:14 pm |Reply

  15. actually, there is a law here about using profanity in public, not sure about where you live.
    it’s sad that they need to rely on those words to express themselves.

    Comment by better safe than sorry — October 9, 2006 @ 5:00 am |Reply

  16. Like just about anything, too much is numbing. I think many (as in most?) young people have become numb to the impact that this word has on people who save it for special occasion use. It’s a f*cking shame.

    Comment by vicki — October 9, 2006 @ 9:20 pm |Reply

  17. Lass-
    Class starts at home.
    If the parents have virtually no control over the language, why would the kids?
    I do agree wholeheartedly.
    I hear some of the most outrageous language on the train.
    Usually young kids.
    Though I won’t say what color because I’d be viewed as racist.


    Comment by michaelm — October 10, 2006 @ 7:04 pm |Reply

  18. All I gotta say is the fucking fuckers fucked.

    Comment by Phocken — March 1, 2007 @ 3:45 pm |Reply

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