Interstellar Adventures

October 11, 2006

Why does your voice sound squeaky?

Filed under: Elle & Zed,Family & Friends,Mom Life — by InterstellarLass @ 10:14 am

Elle asked Zed at dinner last night. Nick about choked and then giggled. I shook my head and grinned. Zed laughed.

It’s not the puberty squeak. Yet. I think he’s got a cold and his voice does sound deeper and scratchier than usual. But it was another reminder of how quickly my kids are growing up. Zed was 11, and puberty and all the things that go with it are just around the corner.

He’s had two monster zits on his nose in the last month. As zits go, they were pretty impressive. But unless I tell him to wash his face, he doesn’t do it. I even bought him face-wipes to use after gym. I found them, two weeks later, still in the Target bag, in his room. Thankfully he remembers to put on deodorant most of the time. And lately his hair always smells funky, even after he’s washed it.

Nick told me last night that Zed asked some interesting questions while they were out at the store. Is it alright to do something just to fit in with the crowd? What if you know it’s wrong and you still do it? What if it’s against God’s law? Will you have to ask for forgiveness? Nick was a little flabbergasted at first, trying to figure out where this was coming from. He couldn’t determine if it was related to discussions over the weekend at the church retreat, or actual events. I’m inclined to think it was the former, as part of a discussion topic/Bible lesson. Nick told him that it’s not necessary to follow the crowd. Being a Lone Ranger has it’s merits. Make your own path and your own way. Go read Nick’s take on it.

One thing about Zed is he’s a thinker. He’s like his dad in that way. Ruminates on something, and you don’t know about it until he hits you with it out of left field. We’ve also been trying to carefully analyze his friends and figure out who he’s hanging out with. Another one of his traits (that he got from me, unfortunately) is an overreaching desire to fit in and be accepted. He’s very trusting and wants to be liked, and my fear of him being influenced to do something he knows is wrong is only slightly mitigated by the fact that I have taught him right from wrong, and tried to be very honest about why he should make certain choices.

Is this it? The beginning of the teenage years? So far we’ve covered sex, drugs, online sexual predators, bullying, trust and honesty. But he’s barely a tween! Ready or not, I’m already barrelling down the path, aren’t I?

On Monday, Creative-Type Dad said, You must be doing something right. What’s the secret? At first I laughed and thought “Ha Ha, yeah, I just got lucky.” and was about to just move on. But then I really thought about it. There is no secret, no right formula, no ‘right’ way to parent. And if there is, no one clued me in. I’ve just tried to make good people.

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15 Comments »

  1. Zed needs to come with me to my Ethics class. Well, as a matter of fact, he can take the class for me. Except that I wouldn’t get to stare at the hot prof then. That class may be able to answer all his questions on morality!
    I still get monster zits. Well, I am only 29.

    Comment by carnealian — October 11, 2006 @ 12:28 pm |Reply

  2. Yeah, I didn’t get the user’s manual either! I thought I knew everything for a little while, then I had another kid and the rules had all changed.

    I think we just have to make ourselves available. It’s great that Zed can ask Nick important questions like that.

    Comment by AbbyNormal — October 11, 2006 @ 1:31 pm |Reply

  3. Well I obviously know nothing about parenting. But one thing that helped me was getting in with a good group of friends in school.

    Zed seems like a great kid, Lass.

    Comment by Bone — October 11, 2006 @ 3:06 pm |Reply

  4. Too funny with the face wipes. They’re not “manly” enough. They should make some with Ninja’s on them, then maybe they’ll get used.

    As for “the secret”, after reading tons of books and reading other parents experiences, I came to this conclusion:
    I’m winging it.

    And I think most other parents are too!

    Comment by creative-type dad — October 11, 2006 @ 4:27 pm |Reply

  5. Well at least he’s not trying to beat his way through middle school like mine..sigh.

    Comment by KaraMia — October 11, 2006 @ 5:44 pm |Reply

  6. I think trying, in good times and bad, is the key. Both of my kids were delightful right on into 7th grade. My son became sort of sullen around home and he was also defiant in a “you can’t make me” sort of way for a couple years. At some point along the way I said, well, you’re right so you have to decide if you’re going to make yourself do the right thing. By and large he did and he was a breeze during high school. (He also didn’t smell as badly as he did in middle school.) My daughter was a peach right into 10th grade and I was busy patting myself on the back when she sort of went south for a couple years. And then she was back to being delightful. Each child, in some fashion, gives you a run for your money but I think if you keep trying and when you get completely fed up, you still keep trying then you can pull through any difficult times.

    The nicest thing about Zed is that it sounds as though he’s thinking seriously aout choices he will have to make and figuring out what his options are- or aren’t.
    That kind of thoughtfulness will pay off.

    Comment by vicki — October 11, 2006 @ 7:52 pm |Reply

  7. my son is 15. his hygeniene leaves something to be desired, hard to believe i have to tell him everyday he needs to take a shower. one of my gf’s told me that once he gets a gf, things will change, but i see that as a whole other set of problems. right now, he’s still a great kid, nice to have around. hopefully all of my kid problems are over, i went through enough stuff with my oldest daughter when she was 18, i’m hoping the other two won’t cause me any problems.

    Comment by better safe than sorry — October 11, 2006 @ 8:40 pm |Reply

  8. Well it seems like you are doing a good job so far! 🙂

    Comment by Kate — October 11, 2006 @ 8:52 pm |Reply

  9. a great parenting job going well by the sounds of it :>)

    Comment by wisbo — October 12, 2006 @ 2:10 am |Reply

  10. I’ve said forever that it all starts in the home; manners, respect for others, compassion…
    The phrase ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree’ comes to mind here. You’re on the right track.
    Basically, as far as raising kids, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
    Good for you, Lass…
    ~m

    Comment by michaelm — October 12, 2006 @ 6:28 am |Reply

  11. Oh, no. I’m just going to pretend that they never grow up. Denial. that’s me.

    Comment by kristen — October 12, 2006 @ 10:01 am |Reply

  12. The whole parenting thing is so darn scary. You don’t know how many times a day I ask how do I make them good citizens how do I make them productive how do I teach them the importance of having an education how do I keep them out of trouble. It’s so stressful!

    Comment by Jolynn — October 12, 2006 @ 11:44 am |Reply

  13. I’d like to echo what Vicky said about the personality change, to some degree. My kids changed so much from elementary school to middle school, and then again to high school.

    They just really did merge into this whole other personality, and like Nick said about Zed, sometimes they shoot from the hip before you know what’s comming. Part of is because at that age, there is strong pressure to fit in with the crowd. Middle school teens in particular like to single out kids who are loners or who are “different”. At that age, the crowd is everything, and even though they might not want to be part of a large group, they still just want to belong.

    I wasn’t like that at all, and could have cared less what the crowd thought, but it’s different now. The emergence of MySpace and Facebook, with all the emphasis on how many “friends” each person has, has changed this generation around. They’re highly into groups. Even if your kids don’t have myspace, chances are, more than half the school will, it’s their culture now.
    I thought I was raising my girls to be strong, independent thinkers, free from the whole “clique stigma” and they are all that, for the most part. But to say they’re not affected by their peers would be a misnomer.
    I think Nick was awesome with Zed, and gave him some really good advice. The fact that he (Zed) brought it up shows he’s thinking about what’s going on… it’s a real good thing he approached you with it. Good luck to him in these middle school years. He sounds like he’s got a good head on his shoulders.
    Oh and uh…good luck to you two, it’s uh, an interesting time. 🙂

    Comment by Laura — October 12, 2006 @ 3:29 pm |Reply

  14. Sounds like you’re doing the right stuff with your kids, Lass. I think the best thing anyone can do for a child is to help them to become critical thinkers. To develop a questioning mind – to never just accept things – especially not for the sake of popularity.
    WC

    Comment by writerchick — October 12, 2006 @ 8:24 pm |Reply

  15. When I was 16ish, I had a ginormous zit on my cheek. This thing had it’s own zip code it was so big. Every time I smiled, my dad would duck out of the way, just in case that sucker blew! Cruel, but effective. I started washing my face a bit more regularly and eventually 73035 went away.

    Why is it that zits migrate from your face to your back as you get older? Just askin.

    Comment by tony — October 13, 2006 @ 8:12 am |Reply


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