Interstellar Adventures

June 8, 2008

75 Things I May or May Not Be Able To Do

Filed under: Family & Friends,It's Me, Lass,Memes & Quizzes — by InterstellarLass @ 5:06 pm

I’m continuing the filching in the maner of the ever-lovely Kimberly over at Petroville. This sounded like fun and is an escape from my current reality of real estate and senior care.

The Rules: Bold the things you can do and you leave in normal type the things you can’t. Sarcastic comments in parenthesis are encouraged.

1. Give advice that matters in one sentence. (Every choice you make affects your future.)

2. Tell if someone is lying. (I’m a maybe on this one. If its Zed, I can tell without fail. Others, I’m not sure if they’re lying or joking.)

3. Take a photo. (The point and shoot camera was invented for people like me. I’ve managed to take some fairly artsy photos [shut up].)

4. Score a baseball game. (My step dad taught me how to do this back when Nolan Ryan was with the Rangers. Counting pitches and all. Paid off when Zed played t-ball. I can also do basic basketball score-keeping.)

5. Name a book that matters. (Don’t all books matter?)

6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible. (I know a little about a lot. Nick is the gifted pop-culture reference person around here.)

7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill. (Sautee, broil, roast, grill, yep. But not poach. Who poaches meat anyway?)

8. Not monopolize the conversation. (I’m chatty. I try shutting up and listening more. Its kind of a personal growth thing I’m working on.)

9. Write a letter. (I haven’t in ages, but I know there is paper, pen, envelopes and stamps involved.)

10. Buy a suit. (Also something I leave up to Nick. He picked out Zed’s suit when we got married. The man has style when he tries.)

11. Swim three different strokes. (I swam the butterfly and backstroke on the swim team. I have an issue with my right hip joint that prevents me from doing a legal frog kick, which is why I got dq’d many times in the IM. I can also do the side-stroke and freestyle. Go me.)

12. Show respect without being a suck-up.

13. Throw a punch. (I hate watching myself in kick-boxing class. I think I look so dumb ‘punching’. Maybe its the flab, but I look weak.)

14. Chop down a tree. (Gimme a chainsaw and I’ll got at it. Nick and I did a lot of tree-trimming last spring.)

15. Calculate square footage. (Length times width. Today Zed and I calculated the cubic footage of our fridge too. For fun.)

16. Tie a bow tie.

17. Make one drink, in large batches, very well. (Martinis count, right? I’m the martini mistress!)

18. Speak a foreign language. (This doesn’t say fluently, so I’ll claim it. Three years of Spanish, plus experience. It helped tremendously when I waited tables. I’m a bit rusty now though.)

19. Approach a woman/man out of his/her league. (Out of my league? Right. There is no such thing. 🙂 )

20. Sew a button. (I’ve done this many times. Ever been a poor college student and can’t afford to buy more shirts for work [waiting tables]. I don’t even have to take the item off.)

21. Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer. (Why would anyone insult soccer? We live soccer.)

22. Give a woman an orgasm so that he doesn’t have to ask after it. (Um. No.)

23. Be loyal. (Yes, which is why I have guilt.)

24. Know his poison, without standing there, pondering like a dope. (Jack on the rocks.)

25. Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it. (I love me some tools. Excuse me while I go replace some shingles and frame in a support.)

26. Cast a fishing rod without shrieking or sighing or otherwise admitting defeat. (I can even bait a hook by myself. Worms and minnows.)

27. Play gin with an old guy. (I would. Although I don’t know any old guys that play gin. Pop likes black jack.)

28. Play go fish with a kid. (Until the kid starts wailing in dispair that they lost go-fish.)

29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped. (Riiiiight. This happens at the end of the martini binge?)

30. Feign interest. (I nod and smile like the best of ’em.)

31. Make a bed. (I can. But Nick does it. I rarely remember.)

32. Describe a glass of wine in one sentence without using the terms nutty, fruity, oaky, finish, or kick. (Creamy?)

33. Hit a jump shot in pool. (Once counts. Even if it was pure luck.)

34. Dress a wound. (I was a doctor’s daughter. Worked at his clinic a few summers. Plus I have younger sibs, and kids.)

35. Jump-start a car. Change a flat tire. Change the oil. (I know where the oil goes, I can find the air filter, but I’ve never drained the pan. I’d end up emptying my tranny probably.)

36. Make three different bets at a craps table. (Nope. Never played craps.)

37. Shuffle a deck of cards. (And I can make the bridge too.)

38. Tell a joke. (Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baaa-baaa shop.)

39. Know when to split his cards in blackjack.

40. Speak to an eight-year-old so he/she will hear. (Its all in the tone.)

41. Speak to a waiter so he will hear. (I can speak so they can hear. I can’t guarantee they are intelligent enough to understand.)

42. Talk to a dog so it will hear. (As long as I have treats in hand, yes.)

43. Install: a disposal, an electronic thermostat, or a lighting fixture without asking for help. (I’ve watched Nick install a disposal, but I won’t take credit. The trick to lighting is to

44. Ask for help. (I suck at this so bad. It pains me to do this.)

45. Break another man’s grip on his wrist. (I’m with Kim. Biting, scratching, kicking, screaming. Those all should work.)

46. Tell a woman’s dress size. (I don’t want anyone guessing my dress size.)

47. Recite one poem from memory. (I can still do about a quarter of the Prologue to The Canterbury Tales. “Whan that aprill with his shoures soote”…)

48. Remove a stain. (I give it to Nick. He’s good.)

49. Say no. (This is something I’ve started to do recently.)

50. Fry an egg sunny-side up. (The more difficult thing would be to fry them over-medium. Which is why I only make scrambled at home.)

51. Build a campfire. (Wait, is this like kindling and matches kind of campfire, or the logs, lighter fluid and flame-thrower kind of campfire?)

52. Step into a job no one wants to do. (I ‘wear many hats’ at work. So yeah.)

53. Sometimes, kick some ass. (See #52.)

54. Break up a fight. (I just tell everyone to go to their rooms. They can’t fight through walls.)

55. Point to the north at any time. (When they say, ‘at any time’ do they mean at any time I’m driving down the freeway, or do they mean in the middle of the woods and lost?)

56. Create a play-list in which ten seemingly random songs provide a secret message to one person.

57. Explain what a light-year is. (Its the distance light can travel in one year. That’s a long, long, loooong way. Like trillions of miles.)

58. Avoid boredom. (Its called a ‘Nap’.)

59. Write a thank-you note. (Yep. My kids do too.)

60. Be brand loyal to at least one product. (Arm & Hammer tooth paste. I love it.)

61. Cook bacon. (I made bacon this morning. With scrambled eggs.)

62. Hold a baby. (Its the best thing in the world.)

63. Deliver a eulogy. (I guess reading a poem at a funeral doesn’t count.)

64. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch. (I don’t get this. Zed came home from school last year proclaiming good ‘ol Chris was an evil man. I love it when history gets re-written based on ‘new thinking’ i.e. judging history based on modern mind sets.)

65. Throw a baseball over-hand with some snap.

66. Throw a football with a tight spiral. (Once or twice. Then my throwing arm is done.)

67. Shoot a 12-foot jump shot reliably.

68. Find his/her way out of the woods if lost. (How lost are we talking here?)

69. Tie a knot. (Done it twice. I think the second time is going to stick. :))

70. Shake hands. (I like a firm hand shake. Not the wimpy half-bent hand shake.)

71. Iron a shirt. (Yeah. But a little wrinkle releaser and a few minutes in the dryer works too.)

72. Stock an emergency bag for the car. (I’m a maybe on this one. I know what I should put in one, but I don’t have all of the supplies on hand.)

73. Caress a woman’s neck. (This is just a little creepy.)

74. Know some birds. (Grackles. We got lots of those. And pidgeons. And cardinals, blue jays. Yeah, ‘some’.)

75. Negotiate a better price. (I hate haggling about money. There is something about it that makes me sooo uncomfortable.)

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